It's Epidemic to Rodney
by DeniseV
Summary: An answer to Ellex's Sickness Challege over at SGAHC. There are six people down with the flu on Atlantis. Any bets on who is lucky number seven? McKay and Sheppard slash.


"Oh, god, now we're all going to get sick."

"No we're not, Rodney," Dr. Carson Beckett assured his highly paranoid and acutely hypochondriac friend.

"But look at all of these sick people," Dr. Rodney McKay whined.

"McKay, we took precautions as soon as we knew that there was an epidemic," Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard said as he watched Beckett and his team settle the most recent flu victim onto a gurney. The first two had been discharged to their quarters; it seemed they were discovering the sick in pairs. Hopefully these would be the last two.

"See? Epidemic!" McKay emphasized, the mere use of the word proving his point.

"Colonel, six people does not an epidemic make and I'll thank you to please watch your phraseology, especially around Rodney."

"Sorry," Sheppard said, knowing full well how much he'd screwed up with just one poorly selected word choice.

"What do you mean 'especially around Rodney'?" McKay asked indignantly.

"He means that you really aren't helping matters much standing around with your surgical mask. The doc will take care of Radek and …what's the other one's name?" John asked. It was hard enough keeping up with the names of the newbies on the military side. It seemed that McKay was moving through new science team members just as fast.

"Oh, um, Newton? Newman?" McKay answered, not trying all that hard to get it right.

"Newsome. Dr. Alexandra Newsome," Dr. Radek Zelenka said with irritation from his hospital bed. He followed that with a little bit of Czech, and then added in English, "Why don't you go and lock yourself in your quarters. Should be safe there. Who would want to join you there?" he added, barely under his breath. John and Carson laughed lightly. "I am serious," Radek responded, not amused.

"I'm sure you are, lad," Beckett replied, still smiling.

"I would like nothing better than to go straight back to my room to avoid all of the potentially infected people here on Atlantis," McKay shot back, "but since three of the sick are from my staff, I am, once again, forced to cover your asses."

Radek sent a glare Rodney's way, grumbled something in his native tongue that didn't sound the least bit complimentary toward Atlantis' chief of science, and then turned on his side, his back now facing the Canadian astrophysicist.

"Rodney, I think our work is done here," John said as he took McKay by the arm and ushered him out of the infirmary. "Why don't we go grab a little bit of lunch?"

"What, and subject ourselves to more of this contagion? Are you out of your mind?"

"Look, four of the sick came from the Daedalus. The other two were Radek and Lieutenant Jordan, who you and I assigned to work with the new arrivals. I think we've got this pretty well contained."

"Oh, what do you know?" McKay asked irritably as he walked alongside Atlantis' head of the military.

"One thing I'm pretty sure of is that you're in no mood to spend time with. Now or later." Sheppard stopped, forcing McKay to do the same. They stared each other down; John was pretty sure that he would be paying for what he'd just said to the scientist.

Rodney leaned close. "No nookie tonight for you," he said, turning down the hallway toward the labs.

"Yeah, like, I'm shakin' in my boots," John replied smartly. 'What the hell was wrong with my brain?' Sheppard thought. McKay walked back over to him quickly.

"I'm pretty sure I've gone a lot longer than you without gettin' any. You really want to wager on who can outlast who?" Rodney challenged.

Sheppard stepped up closer to the genius. Very close.

"Despite the inordinate pain in the ass that you are being right this second, I am getting really turned on. So no, I'm not taking you up on that bet." He moved one step closer – they were so close that Rodney could feel John's gun pressing into his thigh. Yes, his gun. The colonel whispered, "I apologize for anything I said earlier that would make you not 'come' to my quarters tonight." By the time he finished, his mouth was close enough to Rodney's ear to take a teasing nip. He didn't, choosing instead to abscond with a quick taste with his tongue before stepping away.

Rodney looked around nervously. "Well, that's, um, better, then." McKay gave Sheppard a crooked smile and continued, "I'll see you later."

"Looking forward to it," John said, giving his lover a leer that should never be allowed in public.

* * *

Sheppard got tied up with a particularly ugly confrontation between some of the newer recruits, and had been forced to spend time with them, their immediate supervisors, and Elizabeth to run through the rules and regulations, again, and to hand them their appropriate dressing down and warning: the military personnel were only given one opportunity to mess up in this way. The next screw up would send them packing back to Earth. It was one thing to let a brawl get out of hand on Atlantis, and they were lucky that it had happened there and not off-world. That would have been grounds for heading back home with no second chances.

John walked into his quarters, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Sorry I'm late," he started as he headed straight to the bathroom, tossing his jacket and his weapon on the chair along the way. "Had some trouble with some guys who thought it would be smart to get into a fight during their first week on Atlantis. I didn't think it would take this long, but Elizabeth wanted to make sure it was very clear to these two what would not be tolerated. She's a little concerned about the turn-over rate. She said it was military and science that were her biggest concerns. Medical seems to be running smoothly. Seems everybody 'luvs' working for Carson. Show-off. Anyway, she said we should both try harder to nurture our staffs and encourage some stability in the workforce. What's she think, we're running a manufacturing company here?" Sheppard walked out of the bathroom to find his quarters – empty. "Shit. Yes, Sheppard, that's all very interesting, but why don't you come here and let me suck your dick," he said to himself, out loud, imagining Rodney's response to his mini-tirade.

"Where the hell are you, McKay?" John tapped his radio. "McKay?" No answer. "Crap. He probably thought we were meeting at his place. Why am I talking to myself? Out loud? That's what got me in trouble earlier. Cut it out!" The colonel left his quarters and headed for his other 'home'.

He signaled the door to open, but didn't open it, giving Rodney at least the sense that he had control over who entered his quarters when. He signaled again, with no answer. The third time he let himself in. It was dark. He thought the lights on to half power and saw the lump on the bed, the butt sticking slightly over the edge of the bed.

"Very sexy," John said. Rodney was lying with his back to the door, curled up tight under the covers. Sheppard walked over and put his hand on his lover's neck. "Wow, you're hot, and not in a good way."

"That's 'cause 'm sick," McKay slurred as he slowly turned onto his back.

"You're sick? Rodney McKay is sick? How'd that happen?"

"Jerk. Flu? Contagion everywhere? Ring a bell?"

"Why aren't you in the infirmary?" John asked as he removed his shoes and pants.

"Told Carson that I can be sick just as easily here as there. Doesn't take much to crawl to the john."

"Have you been to the john?" Sheppard asked worriedly.

"We're best friends. Well, after you and Carson."

"Thanks. When was the last time you upchucked?" John sat on the edge of the bed, a frown on his face as he witnessed the flushed cheeks and the paleness of every other bit of skin.

"Um, about an hour ago."

"You're drinking, right?" Sheppard asked as he handed the water bottle beside the bed to McKay.

"Yes." Rodney took a decent couple of swallows.

"You think you're gonna need to throw up again?"

"I hope not."

"Do you need anything?" He asked as he brought a waste basket over and set it beside Rodney's side of the bed.

"You? Except I don't want to get you sick," the scientist said with a sad and very pathetic sounding tone.

"I'm sure I'm already infected. I'm either gonna get it or I'm not at this rate."

"You sure?"

"Scoot over a little," John instructed. Rodney willingly did as he was told. John lay down next to him, pulled the covers over them both, and then wrapped his arms around the sick man, placing his right leg over both of his lover's. He leaned in and kissed the so familiar chin, and then Rodney's cheek and then his mouth.

"Oh, you are so going to get sick," Rodney said wretchedly.

"Not necessarily. I was around my guys for as long as you were around Radek and your guys. You get stuff, Rodney. You catch everything. Like everything else you do, you do that really good, too."

"Lucky me."

"No. Lucky me. I get you all to myself."

"But no nookie."

"Cuddling is good, too. We never get enough time for that."

"That's only because one of us ends up falling asleep," McKay said accusingly.

"I don't ALWAYS fall asleep," Sheppard said, defending his post coital performance. Or lack thereof.

"Yes you do."

"Okay. I guess I do. But I'm all about the cuddling now."

"Good," Rodney said as he nuzzled his face into the colonel's neck. John kissed his sick lover's forehead.

"Just rest," John said as he rubbed Rodney's back.

"I don't wanna get sick again," McKay said quietly.

"I know. Maybe you're done."

"Mmm. Hope." John kissed him again, a long, loving, lingering kiss on the cheek.

"I love you," he said as Rodney relaxed heavily into his arms.

"Lucky," the scientist said with a sigh, his breathing turning quickly to the evenness of sleep.

"Very, very lucky," John agreed, keeping his lips on the cherished, and warm, forehead as he closed his eyes to rest. But not sleep.

The End.


End file.
